Coaching Kids

Our Prison Project Volunteers & Programs

By

We have an amazing team of volunteers both in Oklahoma and Colorado.  We went from over 70 inmates in OK down to 34 last Friday.  Four STAR Volunteers – Susan, Melva, Konrad, and Patty – were in the Oklahoma Women’s Prison (Mabel Bassett) last Friday and led four amazing circles of Acknowledgement Throne Exercises.  The numbers have dropped, with the ones who couldn’t really connect to this work gone, and with the others in smaller groups of 8-10 mothers, it was in the zone.

In all our programs we teach 8 modules:

  1. Levels-of-Listening & Powerful Questions
  2. Intuition and Acknowledgement
  3. Personal Values
  4. Saboteurs or Inner Critic
  5. Perspectives, Balance Wheel
  6. Action and Accountability
  7. Visioning
  8. Who’s Driving Your Bus of Life, Take Your Power Back

In the Acknowledgement Throne portion of the second module, we talk about how acknowledgement (talking about who they are, who they want to be, as they are accomplishing something positive, vs. compliments, which talks about what they accomplished, or just general positive comments or what they did) have each person sit in a chair in the front of the room, and each person, some more than once, acknowledges them.  The person on the Acknowledgement Throne can only take it in, perhaps saying thank you.  The other participants use their intuition and say from their heart, “You are _______”, examples, you are courageous, you are tenacious, you are loyal, you are powerful, you are humble…

We’re introducing a new all day Saturday Train-the-Trainer workshop scheduled for Nov. 23rd, from 2:00 to 8:00 pm, this will accommodate Mabel Bassett’s visiting hours of 9:00 to 2:00 pm.  We have 11 ladies who have been through our program and in various different Train-the-Trainer workshops over the past three years; they will be co-leading our new program on the main yard (general population).  We’re excited about this program as it’s in partnership with the Friends for Folks dog program, which is a new program for Mabel Bassett but it has been active at the men’s prison in Lexington, OK for the last 28 years. It’s time the women got exposed to this amazing program and we are proud to be their partners!

I’ll be sharing more about the successes of the Friends for Folks program over the coming weeks – stay tuned!

Our Denver Women’s Prison program has been on a roller coaster from 15 ladies to only 2, two weeks ago (that was two female inmates and me). With such a small group, I had the opportunity to hear the tragic story of one of them, Juanita, through teenage drugs, the death of one of her twins, the death of another child, and about the other twin and a 2-year old daughter.  I took her through the Perspectives Wheel on the topic of “living thru November” – the month her twin died, with the current perspective that she couldn’t control herself in this month, it just takes over and she acts out. She moved from hopeless and uncontrollable to the perspective of hope and new life, the perspective thru the eyes of her 2-year old daughter.

This week it was very noticeable how engaged and how effective at coaching in triads Juanita was, she was smiling, happy, and she is becoming a real competent coach in the triads.  She will celebrate Thanksgiving this month for the first time in 10 years.

We will run this program every Tuesday evening thru December 17th.

 

Who we are, What we do, and How we do it…

By

I take for granted that the people who visit this site have been with us from day one, when really we’re adding new amazing volunteers all of the time. I thought this would be a great opportunity to reflect over the past 10+ years, and give everyone here a quick history lesson on what we do here at Coaching Kids.

Coaching Kids, Inc. was created as a charitable non-profit organization in 2001(I still can’t believe it’s been that long!). We use the powers of life coaching skills to empower youth, their parents and those that work with youth to discover young people’s unique potential. The program helps create resilient kids, nurturing families, stronger communities and a more humane world. Since our initial charter and our 501- C-3 application we have worked in prisons, schools, churches, and other non-profit, government, and for profit organizations.

The aim of our Life On Purpose training in Oklahoma is to help people live empowered fulfilling purposeful lives. We have found that this is best accomplished with the help of interactive experiential learning and teaching modules that build self-esteem, hope, trust, vision, consciousness and self-awareness. Through this process, we’ve witnessed additional positive outcomes, including but not limited to empowering participants to live life with more choice and to make a contribution to others – thereby living a more fulfilled purposeful life – and becoming more responsible, accountable, and caring.

Through extensive personal growth, participants:

  • Become aware of their impact on others, develop deeper emotional connection and learn healthy boundary setting,
  • Recognize their intrinsic value and gain the tools and language to make choices in alignment with their values and supportive beliefs,
  • Develop an increased sense of self-awareness and can identify what actions more fully empower them, and;
  • Learn to live intentionally and consciously.

Part of our volunteer intake program is to take individuals through a series of modules that teach:

1.    Listening at three different levels
2.    Values awareness
3.    Perspectives
4.    The awareness and management of inner critics
5.    The powerful use of intuition and acknowledgement
6.    The tools to initiate and complete action
7.    Train-The-Trainer module on Co-Active Workshop Leading

One of our goals is to not just train our volunteers to deliver programs at the foundation of Coaching Kids and Life on Purpose, but to also take their learnings into the rest of their lives, from interactions at the workplace to family relationships. Really, our volunteers leave the training sessions with a starter lesson in Life Coaching which is all about learning how to live a more empowered, more aware, more self-responsible life at choice, and in alignment with our personal core values. This program is based on the foundation of the Co-Active Coaching curriculum, taught around the world by the Coaches Training Institute (CTI).

Through experiential training, coaches guide participants as they learn improved emotional intelligence skills. The coach training process helps participants to really look at where they are, and where they want to be, and to decide what they need to do to get from here to there. It has them explore who they are and what needs to change in order for them to progress in a way that is meaningful to them while on their life path.

If you’re at all curious about Life Coaching or working within any of our programs, I encourage you to contact me directly any time.

Working Within the System, Not Trying to Change It (kind of)

By

Here is one of the questions I get asked all of the time. Why do I choose to work primarily within prisons and directly with incarcerated women, instead of focusing on influencing change to the prison system as a whole?

Great question.

While I absolutely hope to bring about change from the top down, this type of change takes time. It takes changing the status quo, which can be a labor intensive and slow process. And while this type of change is ultimately a goal of mine, what happens to the women in the system right now? How does change that could take years impact their lives and the lives of their families immediately?

So while I would love to see change in how prisons are run and have impact on the sentences of those convicted of non-violent crimes, I feel the profound need to start making a change right now.

There are many ways to get involved in increasing the awareness around the issue of the incarceration of women in the various prison systems across the US. With the rates of incarceration rising across the country, and certainly in more so in some states, it really is time to take notice of this forgotten population that will be re-entering society at some point.

What investment are we making to ensure that this re-entry is smooth for the community, the individual, and their family? And while many feel that this issue is too large to effectively address, and believe me, at times it feels like it is… One of the best first steps is to increase awareness around the issue as a whole.

Over the coming weeks I’ll speak directly to some of the statistics that begin to paint the picture of the issue at hand. But before I get into the numbers, I wanted to highlight a colleague of mine who is putting a face to the women (and their families) who either are, or have been incarcerated in Oklahoma.

I’d like to introduce you to Yousef Khanfar, who has recently released “Invisible Eve”, available here.Invisible Eve

What I find inspiring about Yousef’s work is that he (in his words) is looking to build “Bridges of Understanding”. His book is a collection of photographs that capture real moments in the lives of these women, and in some cases, moments with their children.

In a recent article Khanfar is quoted as saying “This is a very traumatic experience for these children that leaves a permanent scar in their souls,” he said. “We often forget that many of these women are mothers, and when we imprison mothers, we imprison families. It’s the children who are paying the ultimate price. So, this project is a call to action, a celebration of women, and also a reminder that the mother is the center of the family.” (source: http://newsok.com/photographer-hopes-to-reduce-high-rate-of-womens-incarcerations-in-oklahoma/article/3855083/?page=1 )

I can’t help but be moved by his photographs, and I encourage you to take a look at his work and see the woman (and the family) behind the image.

How can you get involved right now?

If you’d like to volunteer your time, we have multiple opportunities for you to become involved – I’d love to chat with you about this more! Not all of our volunteers work in the prisons some provide some much needed behind the scenes support.

But you can get involved right now by taking this issue out of the shadows and into your life. Learn more about the state of our prisons by doing some research online, and share what you’ve learned with others.

We can make a difference, together.

Why It’s Important for me to Blog

By

So many of my friends and colleagues ask me why I don’t blog more. I wish I had a great reason why, sometimes I blame it on being too busy, but really it comes down to finding a way to take what is a huge story, a HUGE part of my life, and writing just a short piece on it.

However, I know that it is extremely important to do so, for several reasons:

  1. Blogging regularly gives me the opportunity to thank our amazing volunteers (you do know how amazing you all are!). Without our incredible team, none of what I do would be possible.
  2. I get to highlight colleagues who are doing equally amazing work in this field.  And believe me, I’m not the only one working with incarcerated men and women – I can’t wait to share others with you.
  3. I may inspire someone by sharing the stories of the women our team gets to work with.
  4. I’m in a constant state of self-improvement, and so I look to my friends and colleagues to inspire me to be better at what I do, and more effectively communicate with others.
  5. Oh, and most importantly, I get to thank our amazing volunteers (yes I said that twice, but that is just how important our volunteers are. THANK YOU!).

I think it’s fitting to start with our volunteers.

We have a fabulous team here. Without them very little would get accomplished. The impact you have on the lives of the ladies we serve will impact their lives and their families more than you can know. Just the gesture of volunteering your time is impactful. Add to this your energy and dedication, and your impact expands exponentially.

Not all of our volunteers work directly in the prison system. Our volunteers range from fundraisers and grant writers, to admin help, venue and volunteer coordinators.  We’re thankful to them all.

If you’re curious about how to become involved, let me know. I’d love to introduce you to the opportunities available. Our hope is that as we expand our volunteer base, we’ll be able to start working with juvenile/youth facilities. Many hands do make light work, and I’d love for you to be a part of our programs.

So stay tuned to our blog!

Third Day in Denver Women’s Correctional Facility…

By

Here is a report from one of our volunteers in the third week:

During our last session at the Denver Women’s Correctional Facility we looked at how to identify our values and the ways we undermine them.
It was a small but committed group. We worked in triads again (with one person as the coach, one the client, and another the observer) as we asked powerful questions about our values. Looking at values always seems to leave everyone energized and upbeat.
We then looked at “the gap” between our values and the way we are actually living our lives. We asked “What is it that gets in the way?” What are the messages from that little undermining voice that we all seem to have? Coaches would call that naysaying voice a “saboteur.” We all seem to have a saboteur, but some saboteurs are more powerful in some people than in others. Each one will say different things, such as, “You are not worthy” or “You are too old to do that.” Each one seems to have its own personality, and you can give it a name to match it. I think of mine as a vampire sitting at my neck, ready to strike whenever I make a mistake. It loves to tell me how stupid I am. Others named their saboteurs (who were not vampires but ugly blobs) and decided to send them off to the center of the earth, or to outer space. It was fun but powerful.
So, another great session—and we are barely through the program. Cannot wait for the next one, as usual.
Dido Clark, Ph.D.